i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
Side note: everyone’s butts look good in dress pants. Everyone’s.
i just want a pretty girlfriend who’s cute and clever and ships johnlock and likes the things i like and actually lives near me who i can hug and kiss her whenever i want please
SO THIS ONE TIME IT WAS NEW YEARS EVE AND MY ASSHOLE OF A DAD WAS DRUNK AND WE MADE A BET. IF I COULD HIT HIM IN THE ASS CHEEK WITH A BLOWGUN DART THAT I WOULD GET $200. SO I AIMED IT (I WAS 12 YEARS OLD) AND I MISJUDGED THE AIM AND IT HIT HIM STRAIGHT IN THE NUTS AND MY BROTHER HANDED ME $500 WHILE MY DAD WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL VIA AMBULANCE.