I love tumblr because we have inside jokes with like thousands of people.
- Cousin Matt
- Sea Pancake
- Moon Moon
I love you guys
try explaining these to a non-tumblrian
i always end up laughing my ass off while they just stare at me uncomfortably
if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
but that’s also usually the character that gets their own sub-fandom with dedicated fans and pretty cool fanart
however, that’s also usually the one character that dies
i was just like “oh yay”
“not so much yay”
Who came up with kissing? Seriously?
Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice”
*violently bashes head together again*
“This should be a thing”
kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person
*Bashes heads once more*
You are a prime candidate for my child.
A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.